Susan

"It's all a gigantic loop my dear friend"-I acquiesced as he lit up his last cigarette. 

The whole universe was a big matrix in his heretical opinion.Some people called him cynical,some suicidal but I respected my elder brother. 

"It's quite late I guess" - he rose up from the sofa as he finished his drink.
"You don't believe me right?". 

"It is a little hard to believe especially for an optimist like me."

"Well, you will one day ." 

It was quite late so I headed straight for my bed after seeing him off. I tried to sleep but his words wandered around in my mind. What if it was true? What if the universe was just a big matrix in which every particular moment repeated itself. May be, that's where from the concept of more than one lives came from, or may be afterlife was the same life repeating itself again and again. His notions were really infectious, with a troubled mind I went to sleep.

"Rounak! Do you think your parents will accept our marriage?"

"My parents are not that orthodox Susan, they will surely look beyond our religion."
 Why am I in this moment again? Is this a dream? Why am I here again? This is too painful...

"Why do you phase out in between conversations?"- she caressed my hair hand with her tender hands. Her touch had the warmth of a fireplace in a never-ending winter. I looked up. Her smile, the smell of her hair almost made me forget the harsh reality.I wanted to be in her lap in this very particular moment for all eternity.
"Why are you crying? here, let it all go".
Her kiss made me realize that all this can't be real. I have to snap out of it!This must be a dream, a horrible,agonizing dream.
"God!I have to wake up"- I tried to scream but I couldn't.
Slowly the lights went out, the moment passed away. 
.



The hospital bed was as white as cloud in a sunny day, in a complete contrast with the situation in hand. I took her hand and said " Hey! You know what the doctor said ?"
"That I was a constant pain in the ass?"- she smiled.
"No dumbo! He said that this operation was a piece of cake. They will discharge you in a couple of days."
"Oh really? Then will you take me to the beach after all this? I have longed to go on a road trip with you and the beach has the most romantic setting."
"Wrong! Manali is much more romantic you idiot and I definitely do not want to go into that argument again."
"Your time is up Mr.Ganguly"- said the nurse while checking the reports clinging to her bed.
"Well, I better go darling. I will see you tomorrow,goodbye."
I kissed her left cheek, she blushed.
Outside,It was raining. I lit up a cigarette and exhaled a a ton of smoke. The rain hid my tears as I ran towards my car.


"Hey!old man,are you still sleeping?You promised that you will play with me in the morning. I have been knocking at your door for ages now"-screamed little Susan. It was ten in the morning and reality forced itself upon me. I got up from the bed and opened the door.
"Susan,it's a Sunday morning."
"Please uncle, mom is going to the market and I do not want to go with her.Please! You promised yesterday that you will help me out."
"You are a constant pain in the ass" - I thought looking at the neighbour's daughter.

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