No longer Human

He did not know when he opened his eyes.He could feel the wet grass beneath his body and was shivering in damp foggy cold.An excruciating pain had engulfed his body.It was then he understood that he could see,he couldn't before because it was night-time and the clouds in the sky had covered the moon entirely.The clouds have cleared and he could see the dull moon,the stars,twinkling.He saw the cuts and bruises all over his body.He decided not to try and stand up then,he would first comprehend what had happened to him,why was his body throbbing in pain,why his head was aching like hell......with all these questions,he looked up to the sky."The night sky is so peaceful!"-he murmured.What are those?Have the stars descended from the sky?No!He remembered that those were fireflies.The light of fireflies is cold,that is when you hold them in your palm it doesn't feel hot.He couldn't remember how he knew this!What is that gentle noise?He recollected that it was due to crickets......but who told him all these things?He couldn't remember!
Somehow withstanding all the pain he stood up....he knew fireflies always gather around a tree.So he hobbled in that direction.His vision was blurred,but he somehow found the tree.Abreast of the tree he could see a road and a car standing alongside the road,no not standing,but upside down.Why was it like that?he couldn't remember.He moved towards the car,A pungent smell with a tinge of sickening sweetness burst into his nose.He felt like spewing out everything that was in his digestive tract.He was petrified by what he saw next.Was that blood?yes,it was!it was blood splattered over the entire road.He looked around,he found a boy and a woman lying down.Were they dead?they must be,they were not moving an inch.After a few moments of horror,curiosity had filled his heart.Who are they?Did he know them?and why does his heart feel funny?Every time he looked upon them,he felt a pain in his chest just like a small needle piercing the skin.What was the reason behind it?he could not bear not knowing it.He had an urge to run away from all this and so he did.He stumbled and fell after running a short distance.He could no longer keep his eyes open,it was too painful."Why is all this happening to me?"-he screamed and fainted in the road with the stars and the moon watching over him like guardian angels.



"Come on Auro!hurry up!We need to go,and don't you want an ice-cream!"
"Yeah mommy,that would be awesome!"-He grinned observing the mother and her child from his window.Its been three years,and he still remembers that night,in fact it is the only thing he remembers.Everything before it is concealed somewhere deep down his brain.He now obviously has more information about himself.He knows that his name is Ronit Ganguly,he is a hotshot banker,and he owns a lovely condo in ballygunge circular road.He knows his workplace,his household details and other stuff.After he fainted that night,the commoners had taken him to the hospital.It was there that he was informed that he and his family had an accident.According to the doctors he was suffering from amnesia and that it was possible that he may never regain his memory.They also informed him about the death of his wife and his boy.The police assured him that they will find the bastard truck driver who was responsible.But the most muddling thing to about all this was not that he could not gain his memory back,he tried a lot about that and eventually had given up on his memory.It was rather the fact that he felt nothing learning all about his tragedy,about loosing his family.Even while cremating his wife and son he felt no such grief.His therapist at the time had regarded this behaviour to be sociopathic.The last three years,he read lot about dealing with such emotions,researched almost everything about human emotions,but he found nothing,no explanations as to his mental condition.At times he felt that he was no longer human


.
But as time passed he came to a conclusion all by himself. Turning his eyes to  the picture of him and his family on the wall,he thought-
"Human emotions are subject to situations around them.Nature creates us from a DNA blueprint and puts us in a world of scenarios and circumstances we can't control.The only logical explanation of his state of mind is that as he remembered nothing,so he could not attach to his wife and son.The entire concept about a heart being a superior archive of emotions was wrong.It was nothing but a mere literary device to camouflage the bitter truth of life.All emotions in humans comes from the brain,and it is the choices one makes that define his or her actions."
He sighed, then turned to the window,the mother and the boy were enjoying their ice-cream.He suddenly felt the same needle-piercing pain as he felt the night of his accident.He understood even after all these years,the void in his heart was not fulfilled.And whatever he forces his mind to believe, it will know deep down that it is a lie.But he needs to maintain his lie,for his sake,for the sake of his new life.He looked up to the sky and grinned "You are one lousy fucker,aren't you?".